I remember as a child I could hardly take the initiative. Until I was a teenager I was almost always follower initiator, but that did not stop was a naughty boy. In my defense I will say that when playing pranks with my friends and climb to the top of scaffolding works because they were the intended and I did not want to be left behind.
Because of his initiative I got into more of a mess, but to remember it now while we laugh out loud shows that paid off.
Gradually I was freeing myself of certain fears and turning bolder. Although I can now give the image of a staid, even relaxed type, sometimes my actions say otherwise. On more than one occasion I’ve decided not to think about the consequences of my actions and buy a ticket to go alone to a country to which he had always dreamed of traveling, because only in this way was impossible to repent and turn back.
If you want to have something in your life that you never had, you must do something you’ve never done. James D Houston
I have also learned to take initiative in my social environment at the cost of exposing many rejections. Experience has tanned me. I think having initiative is a valuable attitude to social relations, much more to be brave in other areas. In fact there are people who calmly pulls parachute and then shaking like a leaf when he has to talk to strangers.
Enjoy and learn about life it is about creating opportunities and not wait for them to find us. So today I have the pleasure to bring you an article by Jorge Fresco, a psychologist and a good friend who dominates like no art to help people to take the initiative in their social circles and that will give us the keys to make it. Forward Jorge!
How to take the initiative in your social environment
Now is the time to stay up one of the most cherished and valued secrets of personal well-being the ability to take initiative.
I’m sure you have often suffered the fear of rejection, to “what people say” that the others laugh at you, look ridiculous or look silly. However the consequences of having an active role in social relations can be incredible. Talk to the person you like and have a wonderful love story, get that job that both crave or just convert an elevator speech at a single time, are some of the things that will happen to people who take the initiative.
Why not take the initiative?
A definition of initiative is the personal quality to anticipate others talking, acting or making decisions without instructions to do so.
However, it is known that anxiety appears when foresee future and unpredictable dangers.That is why anxiety is the main obstacle to the initiative, since it is impossible to foresee the consequences of our actions when no one has run that risk before.
This is why many people believe that the consequences of taking the initiative will be negative.They anticipate the facts and assess the situation as dangerous. And imagine the dangers are:
The fear of rejection is related to self-esteem. The mere possibility of being left alone or that nobody wants us is almost a biological imperative and creates anxiety. Thinking that the consequence of a social initiative be rejected is what prevents action.
It is true that the rejection exists, but if you do not expose yourself to the situation, are the others who reject you or you yourself?
Nothing to say
He is known as a fear of being left blank. It is also related to self-esteem but in this case arises from the fear of running out of resources during a conversation and others will reject result.
You might think you have nothing interesting to say, but if that were so, you who believe or are others you are?
Make an ass of oneself
Not so much the fear of behaving ridiculously, and everyone in your home often does, but rather the feeling of not being in control of the situation.
Loss of control is about making mistakes and most people do not like to commit, to the point that he believes the rejected for not being perfect. But not the fact of not being perfect is it something that bothers you or others?
Others speak ill of you
Again it is a fear anticipate consequences caused by not really know if they are going to happen.When you are exposed to a social situation you should assume that most likely will not fall well to everybody. However the only way there is to be liked accepting relate to people who can speak ill of you.
If you are afraid to speak ill of you is it because you’re afraid to talk about what you dislike about yourself?
You bother them
The last of the fears that can prevent take the initiative is the belief that others will be upset if you talk. Again it is related to self-esteem, since assume that starting to talk to someone bother you think absurd.
Yes it is true that some people can feel surprised, but in this case the fact is that you dare not believe firmly that will generate nuisance. So my question is this: annoying others or is that perhaps you consider annoying?
As you saw, the reasons why we are reluctant to take the initiative in our social environment have to do with self-esteem and how we value who we are. But the consequences of assuming it well worth the effort.